[journal]

08.03.25

There's truly nothing more fulfilling than sitting down with a friend and catch up. And not on the conventional stuff like weather, work, and whatever. I sat down with my friend Ang today on a whim and we spoke about ideas, curiosities, and newfound beliefs.

She walked me through an internal conflict between starting something now versus waiting until xyz to start that something. More often than not, we convince ourselves that we need to setup the perfect ecosystem - physically or financially before we're permitted to start. But "why"? And that's when our conversation took another turn.

Most people would stop at the thought of "I can only do xyz if xyz happens" aka only when the perfect conditions exist. However, there are a few that know how to dig deeper and find the truth in this statement by constantly asking "why?". Not for the sake of being annoying to yourself, but for the sake of getting out of your own way and getting to the heart of what you truly desire.

It requires a level of awareness and thoughtful questioning to get to this answer. But the ultimate of outcome of this, I believe, is an unshakeable, industructable security. When you know who you are at any given moment, nothing can penetrate that.

In this vein of thought, I think the core of our defensive, critical, or aggressive behavior comes from not being 100% with yourself. And the core to overcoming this obstacle is radical honesty with yourself through the vehicle of practicing awareness and thoughtful questioning.

07.31.25

There’s something happening.

I was doom scrolling for about 30+ minutes and there’s a shift happening in this world. 100% in the USA but I sense it everywhere else.

There was a Tsunami warning for LA a couple days ago and there’s so much content coming up on how Gen Zs can only utilize 100% of their income for basic needs. There’s no room to grow, invest, or build generational wealth with the state of the economy. I’m no expert but seeing Trump sign a bill to remove the department of education.

If I were bought into the religion my Grandma and Grandpa preached growing up, I would believe that the second coming of Jesus Christ is soon.

Nature is angry.

People are angry.

What is there possibly to do to reverse the negative impact of all the decisions we’ve made over the last few decades?

Even at an income of $133k, I’m living paycheck to paycheck in Los Angeles.

All my savings are redirected to taxes.

I’m not willing to fundamentally change the system, but I am inspired to figure out how to master our innerstate the source of energy to create anything outside of ourselves.

So when I think of, what is the world I want to live in? I think that my inner world has to reflect this.